Question Clemson Fans

What does Tommy and Co. pitch to these recruits?

“Come to Clemson! You’re all we need to get over that late season face plant we take every year!”
“You’ll come here if you want a real challenge! How many times do you think you can run down that worthless hill we take on just before every home game?”
“Come to Clemson, we haven’t won an ACC title since FSU joined back in 1991!”
“Real men wear purple!”

You stole RB CJ Spiller from FSU last year. You snag yet another RB in Jamie Harper right out of Jacksonville and land the #1 DE prospect Da’Quan Bowers. Not to mention convince TE Dwayne Allen to commit just two days after he had committed to Georgia. I’m tired of battling Clemson for recruits. It’s one of the reasons I am starting to despise the color purple. “You sure is ugly.” Can’t say I’m starting to despise the color urnge. I hated that color long before Joiner was busted making out with his “roommate” T-T-T-T-Timmy on the sidelines during a game.

When the hell did Clemson start yanking recruits from the Big 3 in Florida? Did I get drop-kicked in the forehead? How much have I been drinking lately? Have you seen my baseball?

Makes you wonder what Mrs. Tommy is putting in those brownies. Certainly not pot! We know that recruiting is never done using illegal tactics. The only logical explanation for those brownies is that they were baked with love from the heart and butthash from the colon! Ahhh…smell the aroma when those bastards are baking! It’s quite therapeutic. Huff the Hash…Come to Clemson!!