*Was the OH really necessary?  Who would really think that it would be Da U?  I couldn’t even tell you the last time I even knew of a hockey game here in Florida.  In fact, in the town I live in…they make a little ice skating rink in the downtown area that has to have special equipment to keep the ice frozen.

I love seeing the Gates lose. From football to basket weaving I really don’t care. Last night the ladies of RCC (Rolly Clown Colledge) defeated the lady Gates by 25 points! Spank City. I get a double dose of goodness from this event because not only did the Gates lose, but they lost to an ACC team. The Gates only lead in the game was 3-2 with 17:06 remaining in the first half. It was that point that the slaughter began. I just wanted to say thanks and congrats to the Ladies of NCSU. Two-thumbs up performance.

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/sports/content/sports/epaper/2008/03/27/a11c_umsid_0327.html

This reminds me of two different people I have come across in the strip club my gorgeous lady and I like to frequent. One was a local bar owner who had this incredibly Gator way of attempting to make it rain on these stretch-marked hotties! He would put a stack of of 1′s (likely 20 of them) in one palm and smack them out on the strippers one at a time all while gripping his bottom lip with his top row of teeth. Now that’s how dirty old men make it rain. The other guy is one I went to high school with and who is currently in the NFL. He also only had a small stack of 1′s compared to Ken’s stack. Which is okay because we were in a $1 style strip club.

Neither of these two guys had stacks like my boy Ken. So my question has been answered. Tommyboy is coming of the cash for his boys. If a 4 star offensive lineman is holding this stack…what are the other high profile guys depositing? This picture is worth way more than $1,000 words! Which brings me to my next question…Are those 20′s or 50′s? It’s too hard to tell.

Thanks to Goose for bringing this to my attention. Mez, both of my readers want answers!

www.goallineblitz.com

And if you decide to sign up…do it under me!

http://goallineblitz.com/game/signup.pl?ref=1347716

Weatherford will be having surgery on his knee. Or will he? Assuming that he doesn’t travel to Hochfranken, Bavaria…he should be okay. It seems the surgeons there (understandably so) confuse the leg with the anus. I can’t tell you how many time a day I’ve gotten the two confused. I’ve wiped my shin raw before when I had that stomach virus.

Soon to be first-round draftee Xavier Lee could have had his 87th opportunity to impress the Florida State coaches and show them that he is a worthy starter. I wondered what he was feeling when he heard the news. Would he be happy Drew got hurt, disappointed that he can’t be there to shine or just not care? After many attempts I finally caught up with X and asked him about the injury to Drew. Here is what he had to say:

X Lee: Huh?

After a brief and disappointing conversation, I realized I need to contact someone close to Lee that could give me his thoughts and opinions. After all, I do have an article to write. I tried contacting his dad first to see what I could get out of him. Here is what he had to say:

Mr. X Lee: FSU sucks!

After another stimulating phone conversation, I thought maybe this article was just not meant to be. How can I give the people what they want when I can’t get the information. Then it occurred to me that I should contact someone that isn’t related to X. Maybe a friend or teacher. I got in touch with X’s tutor and here is what she had to say:

X. Lee Tutor: A,C,C,B,A,D,C,A,B,B,D,A,C,D,B,D,A

The good news is that this gives Christian Ponder and D’vo Richardson the opportunity to shine in the Spring. Ponder did ok for a newbie in the Va Tech game last year and D’vo quit baseball to focus more on football. On a serious note, it will be interesting to see what these two can do in the Spring.

Also while browsing, I came across what I assume to be the original “giving him the business” call.

Now here is the problem I’m having with this. First of all, WTF? Secondly, I can’t be the only one that thinks this call just screams ghey. Not only does the “giving him the business” tag seem like some sort of sly way of covering up the fact that a player could possibly be jerking another one off…but the ref in that second video uses the hand motions to verification of my original jerking off thought. All while saying “he was giving him the business down there”. That shit ain’t right.

Listen, there is no room in football for these Gaytoresque actions. “Giving him the business” is something Timmy Tebow and Tony Joiner do to each other on the sidelines when one makes a tackle or scrambles for 3 yards. Lord only knows what type of business goes on between those two roomies when the lights go out in their room.

Why not just a “personal foul – dude was being a douchehole”. Now that would be a bit more humorous. Or if you want to be politically correct, why not just a personal foul for unnecessary roughness? Let’s keep the game within reason here Ron. I know you love the attention of blowing games and making shit calls, but we have no room for it in the ACC. Take that shit to the Big East or the Pac-10. Better yet, focus on Gaytor games alone. They are the “Fermenting Gurus” and “Huffing Masters” when it comes to your drug of choice.

ACC Trash: Tell us what it means to be a BC Guy.
Mike: BC guys are leaders of men and captains of industry. Eagle Insider is the nexus of the universe where the internet’s greatest minds meet on a daily basis. Every ACC school has an Eagle Insider ambassador to the ACC League of Nations (except for Miami, whose seat was vacated due to conviction).

ACC Trash: Why isn’t the EagleInsider Dictionary* as big as Webster or Wikipedia yet?
Mike: Give us time. We’ll get there, as long as the EI Dictionary’s sheer depth doesn’t cause the internet to shut down.
*ACC Trash Note: As Mike insinuated, the EI Dictionary is a great resource for the current slang. I recommend you check it out.

ACC Trash: Do you have NOBAMA! for Obama*?
Mike: I will be six feet under before I adopt any phrase created by NewYorkCanesEagles.
*ACC Trash Note: Consult EI for the meaning of NOBAMA! for Obama.

ACC Trash: How long before TOB turns NC State into a national powerhouse?
Mike: Well it’s important to point out that TOB’s idea of a success is getting out of the office a 4:59 so he can sip Country Time Lemonade on his porch on Daniel Island. So in that respect I imagine NC State is already shaping up to be a real powerhouse.

ACC Trash: Who are the ACC Jort Champions?
Mike: NC State fans are the jortsiest of them all. Virginia Tech is challenging the title, but they’re still a few Tasmanian Devil tattoos away.

ACC Trash: Outside the ACC, whose fans suck the most?
Mike: It would have to be a three-way tie between the Boise State fans who still hate BC for beating them on their stupid blue turf, the Big East fans who spend hours on BC message boards reminding us they don’t miss us, and SEC fans, who really need no explanation.

ACC Trash: If you were a 5* recruit and you had offers from only NC State and Notre Dame…Where do you go?
Mike: Well I’d have to go with Notre Dame since it’s a good school and at least when they talk about their football tradition, they actually have a football tradition to speak of. Honestly though, I’d be wondering what I did wrong and why Jags didn’t consider me a BC Guy.

ACC Trash: Thoughts on the ACC versus the Big Least?
Mike: Big East fans still troll Eagle Insider and ask us if we miss them. The answer is no. The ACC is a better fit athletically and academically. The Big East made it pretty clear that they only really care about basketball, and the monstrosity it has become is a testament to that. The ACC has the same 12 teams and this format allows for spectacular rivalries from the field to the court. Although BC is the only northeastern ACC school, it still makes more geographic sense in an Atlantic Coast Conference than Marquette, Cincinnati, Notre Dame and DePaul make in the Big East. Personally, I am really enjoying the ACC and its fans. The naysayers said BC would not be able to compete, but since the move we’ve been right in the thick of it and are fostering some great rivalries.

ACC Trash: Is Jags really better than TOB?
Mike: How much time do you have? I could go on for days about how much better Jags is for this program. When I was suffering under TOB’s 8-win seasons and lowered expectations, I put together a wish list of attributes I wanted in a new BC coach. Jags is everything I wanted in a coach, and more. He is an energetic recruiter, he runs a dynamic, exciting offense, he is a great ambassador for the school, and he really understands what makes BC great.

ACC Trash: Other than Mez of course, who’s the baddest Ambassador at EI?
Mike: You’re making a name for yourself and reaching out to the BC community with this blog, so it could be you soon enough. Maybe Mez could use a Deputy Secretary-General.

A Jort (or Jorts, plural), a portmanteau of “jean-shorts”, is a garment worn by women or men that covers the pelvic area, the buttocks, and the upper part of the legs (typically the part above the knee). Jorts are types of shorts that are made only from denim.

Here’s the thing about jorts. It is perfectly fine for women to wear jorts. It’s a sex appeal thing. Men on the other hand…it’s just not acceptable. It’s blasphemy. Women in jorts, sexy. Men in jorts, not so much. Please see exhibits “A” and “B” below. Click on the pictures for a larger view.

I suppose you are also wondering why I insist Gator fans are pretty upset right now. Well it’s because I am picking on something that is sacred to the Gator Nation. To be quite honest with you, I don’t think that there is anything more sacred to the Gator Nation than jorts. Jorts are a powerful thing to them. It separates them from the crowd. You can spot a jort wearing Gator fan from hundreds of feet away.

I would even be willing to say that Gator fans are the National Champions of jorts. I understand that there are plenty of teams out there with their fair share of jort wearing fans. Especially in the South. But I have yet to see a fan base that not only takes the Jorts National Championship trophy home, but they also proudly display that trophy. In fact, the display for the JNC is almost like a shrine. It’s got its own room. Those other National Championship trophies…not nearly as important.

Gator fans are so in love with their jorts, they even have their very own logo’d jorts. Yes that’s right, they are that much of a money maker in Gunsville.

Even Budweiser has recognized the inventor of Jorts (a UF grad) in one of their Real Men Of Genius commercials. How many other fan bases can say they have a Budweiser commercial about their sacred line of clothing? For the sake of our amusement…keep jort’n Gator fans.

And here’s one for you ACC fans. Who do you suppose would be the ACC Jort Champions? Wuffies won’t be too thrilled with this. Are they the ACC Jort Champions? Some would say so. I haven’t seen any evidence to prove otherwise. This picture is courtesy of EaglesTalon at Eagle Insider.