Archive for the ACC Category

Interview With A CU Tiger

Posted in ACC, Atlantic Coast Conference, Clemson Tigers, Interviews on April 7, 2008 by Chad
In our second ACC interview, we caught up with EI’s Clemson Ambassador and message board GOD…Mezmrin. Not only is he good at representing Clemson, but he’s also been a pretty solid baby maker lately. Got something to say to Mez…leave a comment!
Who do you think got beat more as a child…Terry, Tommy or Jeffey?
Mez: Probably Jeff. I have a feeling Bobby lined them all up at the same time in order of oldest to youngest to deliver his beatings. That’d put Jeff on the far right and we all know about Bobby’s tendency for going wide right.
Is there anyone that you would like to see trip down the big hill?
Mez: Yep, whoever was the first guy to say, “Hey coach, I have an idea. Lets wear purple this week.”
What’s up with the purple?
Mez: So you see it too? Damn. We used to have a touch of navy blue in our uniforms and that was ok, but this purple has grown into something entirely different. Its like cudzoo. Purple is for Furman and fags. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
Which ACC squad fields the most twatwaffles?
Mez: heheh, twatwaffles usually show up around the BC board. I don’t know which team has the most, but so far the fanbase with the most on EI is NCState.
Caption this photo:
Mez: In an attempt to give back to the community Steve Spurrier meets with a few local inmates.
Where does Clemson finish in the ACC in football for 2008?
Mez: Lately, we’ve been seeing a lot of the early predictions from different blogs and it seems that Clemson is the sexy pick to win the ACC in ’08. I like sexy and so I’d say with complete confidence that Clemson will win the ACC. In fact, they are going to go 14-0 and not only claim the ACC but bring the national championship back home where it belongs. With an average winning margin of 36 points the Tigers will go down in history as the single greatest team ever fielded….EVAH!!
Now some might think I’m crazy, but I will put out this disclaimer. Throughout my years I have made many predictions and never have I ever been wrong. I’m undefeated and I feel like you can move on these predictions as if they’d already been played. If you don’t believe me, just ask the Clemson Board for they know all.
How/Why does the Clemson board (or fans) know all?
Mez: Ahh, the question of the ages. I could try to answer it for everyone, but the brilliance of the reason is so great that some would go blind. It’d be like looking God or even a BAMA fan directly in the eye. Its just something that’s best not done.
What does the phrase “Beat more cock.” mean to you?
Mez: The word cock makes me laugh. I can’t believe someone would/could allow that to be their actual mascot. 80 year old women screaming “I love the cocks” always makes me giggle.
I just hope the South Carolina vs. Furman game is televised when they play in the next few years. Watchers will be treated to listening to a stadium rocking chant of “COCKS FU!!” and think they have accidentally turned it to the spice channel or something.
How much do you love Steve Spurrier?
Mez: I love anything that gives South Carolina fans hope. Forget the century of losing, the history of being complete failures, the repeated incompetence, the consistent inferiority….no forget all that. We’ve got Steve Spurrier!! South Carolina has to be the greatest rival ever. They constantly set themselves up for ridicule while never doing anything about it.
Which ACC school fields the ugliest chicks?
Mez: Duke….true story, dookie got its name from people visiting the Duke campus and saying “These dukie chicks look like s***!”

BC Advances To Frozen Four

Posted in ACC, Atlantic Coast Conference, Boston College Eagles, Hockey on March 31, 2008 by Chad

Congrats to the BC hockey team who is headed to the Frozen Four for the third straight year.  After being down 2-0 to Miami (OH)* they came back to win 4-3 in OT.  Next up for BC is North Dakota on April 10th.

BC Hockey

*Was the OH really necessary?  Who would really think that it would be Da U?  I couldn’t even tell you the last time I even knew of a hockey game here in Florida.  In fact, in the town I live in…they make a little ice skating rink in the downtown area that has to have special equipment to keep the ice frozen.

Lady Gates Fall In NIT To NC State

Posted in ACC, Atlantic Coast Conference, Basketball, Florida Gators, NC State Wolfpack on March 28, 2008 by Chad

Lady Gates: 55
Lady NCSU: 80

I love seeing the Gates lose. From football to basket weaving I really don’t care. Last night the ladies of RCC (Rolly Clown Colledge) defeated the lady Gates by 25 points! Spank City. I get a double dose of goodness from this event because not only did the Gates lose, but they lost to an ACC team. The Gates only lead in the game was 3-2 with 17:06 remaining in the first half. It was that point that the slaughter began. I just wanted to say thanks and congrats to the Ladies of NCSU. Two-thumbs up performance.

Borat Thumbs-up

Miami Sports Information Director Fired

Posted in ACC, Atlantic Coast Conference, Football, Miami Hurricanes on March 27, 2008 by Chad

Is this a good day for ACC news or what? Only this story is disturbing…
Rich Korch. This scumbag was fired for having child porn on his computer at work. Brainiac here decided that he would ask for someone to check out his computer since it was running so slow. He actually tried to hide the videos and pictures in a folder called “Season Recaps”. Pusscadore Korch is married and has 4 kids. Man does this help Miami’s image!

Clemson’s Kenny Page Is Ballin’

Posted in ACC, Atlantic Coast Conference, Clemson Tigers, Football, Ken Page on March 27, 2008 by Chad

Ballin’ as in he’s able to make it rain on them Clemson ladies. And here I am wondering how Clemson takes all the good recruits lately! Check out his stack.

CU Ken Page

This reminds me of two different people I have come across in the strip club my gorgeous lady and I like to frequent. One was a local bar owner who had this incredibly Gator way of attempting to make it rain on these stretch-marked hotties! He would put a stack of of 1’s (likely 20 of them) in one palm and smack them out on the strippers one at a time all while gripping his bottom lip with his top row of teeth. Now that’s how dirty old men make it rain. The other guy is one I went to high school with and who is currently in the NFL. He also only had a small stack of 1’s compared to Ken’s stack. Which is okay because we were in a $1 style strip club.

Neither of these two guys had stacks like my boy Ken. So my question has been answered. Tommyboy is coming of the cash for his boys. If a 4 star offensive lineman is holding this stack…what are the other high profile guys depositing? This picture is worth way more than $1,000 words! Which brings me to my next question…Are those 20’s or 50’s? It’s too hard to tell.

Thanks to Goose for bringing this to my attention. Mez, both of my readers want answers!

Weatherford To Have Surgery

Posted in ACC, Atlantic Coast Conference, Drew Weatherford, Florida State Seminoles, Football, Xavier Lee on March 27, 2008 by Chad

Obviously it has been a while since I have written an article. I’m sure it’s a disappointment to all my readers. So I would like to apologize to both of you! I’ll try not to have a real life and write more.

Weatherford will be having surgery on his knee. Or will he? Assuming that he doesn’t travel to Hochfranken, Bavaria…he should be okay. It seems the surgeons there (understandably so) confuse the leg with the anus. I can’t tell you how many time a day I’ve gotten the two confused. I’ve wiped my shin raw before when I had that stomach virus.


Soon to be first-round draftee Xavier Lee could have had his 87th opportunity to impress the Florida State coaches and show them that he is a worthy starter. I wondered what he was feeling when he heard the news. Would he be happy Drew got hurt, disappointed that he can’t be there to shine or just not care? After many attempts I finally caught up with X and asked him about the injury to Drew. Here is what he had to say:

X Lee: Huh?


After a brief and disappointing conversation, I realized I need to contact someone close to Lee that could give me his thoughts and opinions. After all, I do have an article to write. I tried contacting his dad first to see what I could get out of him. Here is what he had to say:

Mr. X Lee: FSU sucks!

After another stimulating phone conversation, I thought maybe this article was just not meant to be. How can I give the people what they want when I can’t get the information. Then it occurred to me that I should contact someone that isn’t related to X. Maybe a friend or teacher. I got in touch with X’s tutor and here is what she had to say:

X. Lee Tutor: A,C,C,B,A,D,C,A,B,B,D,A,C,D,B,D,A

The good news is that this gives Christian Ponder and D’vo Richardson the opportunity to shine in the Spring. Ponder did ok for a newbie in the Va Tech game last year and D’vo quit baseball to focus more on football. On a serious note, it will be interesting to see what these two can do in the Spring.

Giving Him The Business

Posted in ACC, Big East, Florida Gators, Football, Maryland Terrapins, NC State Wolfpack, Pac-10 on March 5, 2008 by Chad

I had originally planned to write an article on how shitty the ACC Refs are, especially Ron Cherry. In my research, I came across a clip of my pal Ron making a call in a game between the Wuffies and the “Fear the Turtle” game this past year. Check out the clip.

Also while browsing, I came across what I assume to be the original “giving him the business” call.

Now here is the problem I’m having with this. First of all, WTF? Secondly, I can’t be the only one that thinks this call just screams ghey. Not only does the “giving him the business” tag seem like some sort of sly way of covering up the fact that a player could possibly be jerking another one off…but the ref in that second video uses the hand motions to verification of my original jerking off thought. All while saying “he was giving him the business down there”. That shit ain’t right.

Listen, there is no room in football for these Gaytoresque actions. “Giving him the business” is something Timmy Tebow and Tony Joiner do to each other on the sidelines when one makes a tackle or scrambles for 3 yards. Lord only knows what type of business goes on between those two roomies when the lights go out in their room.

Why not just a “personal foul – dude was being a douchehole”. Now that would be a bit more humorous. Or if you want to be politically correct, why not just a personal foul for unnecessary roughness? Let’s keep the game within reason here Ron. I know you love the attention of blowing games and making shit calls, but we have no room for it in the ACC. Take that shit to the Big East or the Pac-10. Better yet, focus on Gaytor games alone. They are the “Fermenting Gurus” and “Huffing Masters” when it comes to your drug of choice.