Archive for the Clemson Tigers Category

Interview With A CU Tiger

Posted in ACC, Atlantic Coast Conference, Clemson Tigers, Interviews on April 7, 2008 by Chad
In our second ACC interview, we caught up with EI’s Clemson Ambassador and message board GOD…Mezmrin. Not only is he good at representing Clemson, but he’s also been a pretty solid baby maker lately. Got something to say to Mez…leave a comment!
Who do you think got beat more as a child…Terry, Tommy or Jeffey?
Mez: Probably Jeff. I have a feeling Bobby lined them all up at the same time in order of oldest to youngest to deliver his beatings. That’d put Jeff on the far right and we all know about Bobby’s tendency for going wide right.
Is there anyone that you would like to see trip down the big hill?
Mez: Yep, whoever was the first guy to say, “Hey coach, I have an idea. Lets wear purple this week.”
What’s up with the purple?
Mez: So you see it too? Damn. We used to have a touch of navy blue in our uniforms and that was ok, but this purple has grown into something entirely different. Its like cudzoo. Purple is for Furman and fags. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
Which ACC squad fields the most twatwaffles?
Mez: heheh, twatwaffles usually show up around the BC board. I don’t know which team has the most, but so far the fanbase with the most on EI is NCState.
Caption this photo:
Mez: In an attempt to give back to the community Steve Spurrier meets with a few local inmates.
Where does Clemson finish in the ACC in football for 2008?
Mez: Lately, we’ve been seeing a lot of the early predictions from different blogs and it seems that Clemson is the sexy pick to win the ACC in ’08. I like sexy and so I’d say with complete confidence that Clemson will win the ACC. In fact, they are going to go 14-0 and not only claim the ACC but bring the national championship back home where it belongs. With an average winning margin of 36 points the Tigers will go down in history as the single greatest team ever fielded….EVAH!!
Now some might think I’m crazy, but I will put out this disclaimer. Throughout my years I have made many predictions and never have I ever been wrong. I’m undefeated and I feel like you can move on these predictions as if they’d already been played. If you don’t believe me, just ask the Clemson Board for they know all.
How/Why does the Clemson board (or fans) know all?
Mez: Ahh, the question of the ages. I could try to answer it for everyone, but the brilliance of the reason is so great that some would go blind. It’d be like looking God or even a BAMA fan directly in the eye. Its just something that’s best not done.
What does the phrase “Beat more cock.” mean to you?
Mez: The word cock makes me laugh. I can’t believe someone would/could allow that to be their actual mascot. 80 year old women screaming “I love the cocks” always makes me giggle.
I just hope the South Carolina vs. Furman game is televised when they play in the next few years. Watchers will be treated to listening to a stadium rocking chant of “COCKS FU!!” and think they have accidentally turned it to the spice channel or something.
How much do you love Steve Spurrier?
Mez: I love anything that gives South Carolina fans hope. Forget the century of losing, the history of being complete failures, the repeated incompetence, the consistent inferiority….no forget all that. We’ve got Steve Spurrier!! South Carolina has to be the greatest rival ever. They constantly set themselves up for ridicule while never doing anything about it.
Which ACC school fields the ugliest chicks?
Mez: Duke….true story, dookie got its name from people visiting the Duke campus and saying “These dukie chicks look like s***!”

Clemson’s Kenny Page Is Ballin’

Posted in ACC, Atlantic Coast Conference, Clemson Tigers, Football, Ken Page on March 27, 2008 by Chad

Ballin’ as in he’s able to make it rain on them Clemson ladies. And here I am wondering how Clemson takes all the good recruits lately! Check out his stack.

CU Ken Page

This reminds me of two different people I have come across in the strip club my gorgeous lady and I like to frequent. One was a local bar owner who had this incredibly Gator way of attempting to make it rain on these stretch-marked hotties! He would put a stack of of 1’s (likely 20 of them) in one palm and smack them out on the strippers one at a time all while gripping his bottom lip with his top row of teeth. Now that’s how dirty old men make it rain. The other guy is one I went to high school with and who is currently in the NFL. He also only had a small stack of 1’s compared to Ken’s stack. Which is okay because we were in a $1 style strip club.

Neither of these two guys had stacks like my boy Ken. So my question has been answered. Tommyboy is coming of the cash for his boys. If a 4 star offensive lineman is holding this stack…what are the other high profile guys depositing? This picture is worth way more than $1,000 words! Which brings me to my next question…Are those 20’s or 50’s? It’s too hard to tell.

Thanks to Goose for bringing this to my attention. Mez, both of my readers want answers!

Question Clemson Fans

Posted in ACC, Clemson Tigers, Football with tags , , , , on February 15, 2008 by Chad

What does Tommy and Co. pitch to these recruits?

“Come to Clemson! You’re all we need to get over that late season face plant we take every year!”
“You’ll come here if you want a real challenge! How many times do you think you can run down that worthless hill we take on just before every home game?”
“Come to Clemson, we haven’t won an ACC title since FSU joined back in 1991!”
“Real men wear purple!”

Clemson Hill

You stole RB CJ Spiller from FSU last year. You snag yet another RB in Jamie Harper right out of Jacksonville and land the #1 DE prospect Da’Quan Bowers. Not to mention convince TE Dwayne Allen to commit just two days after he had committed to Georgia. I’m tired of battling Clemson for recruits. It’s one of the reasons I am starting to despise the color purple. “You sure is ugly.” Can’t say I’m starting to despise the color urnge. I hated that color long before Joiner was busted making out with his “roommate” T-T-T-T-Timmy on the sidelines during a game.

The Color Purple

When the hell did Clemson start yanking recruits from the Big 3 in Florida? Did I get drop-kicked in the forehead? How much have I been drinking lately? Have you seen my baseball?

Makes you wonder what Mrs. Tommy is putting in those brownies. Certainly not pot! We know that recruiting is never done using illegal tactics. The only logical explanation for those brownies is that they were baked with love from the heart and butthash from the colon! Ahhh…smell the aroma when those bastards are baking! It’s quite therapeutic. Huff the Hash…Come to Clemson!!