Archive for the Jorts Category

Let’s Talk Jorts

Posted in Florida Gators, Jorts, NC State Wolfpack on February 18, 2008 by Chad

Gator fans are cringing just at the title of this piece. They know it must have something to do with them. As usual I like to back my trash with facts and you will certainly see that as we go along. First, some of you may be wondering what “jorts” are. Well it’s simple really…as Wikipedia puts it:

A Jort (or Jorts, plural), a portmanteau of “jean-shorts”, is a garment worn by women or men that covers the pelvic area, the buttocks, and the upper part of the legs (typically the part above the knee). Jorts are types of shorts that are made only from denim.

Here’s the thing about jorts. It is perfectly fine for women to wear jorts. It’s a sex appeal thing. Men on the other hand…it’s just not acceptable. It’s blasphemy. Women in jorts, sexy. Men in jorts, not so much. Please see exhibits “A” and “B” below. Click on the pictures for a larger view.

Women Jorts Man Jorts

I suppose you are also wondering why I insist Gator fans are pretty upset right now. Well it’s because I am picking on something that is sacred to the Gator Nation. To be quite honest with you, I don’t think that there is anything more sacred to the Gator Nation than jorts. Jorts are a powerful thing to them. It separates them from the crowd. You can spot a jort wearing Gator fan from hundreds of feet away.

Gator Jorts

I would even be willing to say that Gator fans are the National Champions of jorts. I understand that there are plenty of teams out there with their fair share of jort wearing fans. Especially in the South. But I have yet to see a fan base that not only takes the Jorts National Championship trophy home, but they also proudly display that trophy. In fact, the display for the JNC is almost like a shrine. It’s got its own room. Those other National Championship trophies…not nearly as important.

Jorts Collage

Gator fans are so in love with their jorts, they even have their very own logo’d jorts. Yes that’s right, they are that much of a money maker in Gunsville.

Jorts

Even Budweiser has recognized the inventor of Jorts (a UF grad) in one of their Real Men Of Genius commercials. How many other fan bases can say they have a Budweiser commercial about their sacred line of clothing? For the sake of our amusement…keep jort’n Gator fans.

And here’s one for you ACC fans. Who do you suppose would be the ACC Jort Champions? Wuffies won’t be too thrilled with this. Are they the ACC Jort Champions? Some would say so. I haven’t seen any evidence to prove otherwise. This picture is courtesy of EaglesTalon at Eagle Insider.

TOB Jorts

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